Wednesday, October 20, 2004

I Believe I Can Zap

I have lots of stories to tell, but so little time to do so. So today, I shall tell you a little story about how fucked up static electricity is. As most of you know, I review hardware for a living. Problem is, our entire office is carpeted, and I end up getting zapped without fail each damn day. Sometimes, when I reach out to get a graphics card or power supply, I see this spark of electricity jump off my fingers right before touching the item. Holy shit. Apparently, just shuffling your feet around on carpet for a little over a few seconds charges your body with tens of thousands worth of Volts. Fuk Spiderman or Clark Kent then, anybody with a decent amount of spare time and a pair of really crappy rubber shoes can easily be turned into Static Man. Why bother be faster than a speeding bullet or shoot webs from your wrist when you can just as easily render a villian helpless just be touching the dude and zapping the fuck outta him? Of course, the problem with all of this is that static electricity lacks current to initiate cell damage. I mean, you do know that it's current that kills, not voltage, right? So, why not carry a portable current generator to aid you in ridding evil one zap at a time. Of course, the other problem is that since you're also a conductor, you'll probably zap yourself along with it. I think I'll just be content being Super Writer for now.
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