Thursday, October 14, 2004

Love Lost and Friendship Divine

This is a story of a dear friend and I, and how the both of us share this remarkable bond, and of how the turmoil of the emotional baggage I sustain over the years have shaped me into the person I am. We met under the most unassuming circumstances. My first encounter with her was nothing more than a brief glance which quickly ended in me walking away. I can't exactly pinpoint just how or when we got close, or when we even started talking to each other, but I suppose if things are meant to happen, they will. As the years went by, our friendship quickly turned gold, and it was inevitable that we ended up being best friends. It soon came to the point where friends began to ask the classic question: 'Are you going out with him/her?' You see, I'm a writer, and I tend to wrap words up in so much ambiguous meanings, they often become taken out of context, and become generic replies which suits my purpose. "We're best friends. How can there be any thing other than that? I have too much respect for her than to throw it all away and risk trying to go for a relationship with her" The best liers are those who say it with a straight face. Heck, even that ridiculous sentence fooled her. It did for everyone. No one knows how my heart quickens when she calls my cell, or how my heart dies a little each time she find a new person in her life, only to find months later that it wasn't mean to be. Sometimes the yearning hurts so much I feel existence itself fade away to nothingness, and I'm left with the hollow, empty feeling of asbolute silence as I sit in my room, thinking how life spins its web around me. I decided to take a stand. Aching hearts and unresolved issues don't make interesting testaments for carving on my tombstone, so I put it all in an imaginary jar, and just when the jar is filling up to the brim, I imagine throwing it into the sea, forever drowning my grievances againt fate. A year later, today, I'm still holding on to that jar. She and I are still best friends, and I decide that this is the best for all. I know that boyfriends come and go, but best friends are forever, and that is enough for me. I will no longer claim that I still secretly pine for her, but I still do love her with all my heart, in whatever form that may be. The fact that I know she does too helps the nights feel less colder. Here's hoping that I will never have to write something like this ever again.


Blogger Nicholas Leong said...

you being that is scary..

did u like got broke and did not have enough cash to buy a pack of ciggies resulting in your current state?

10/14/2004 06:37:00 PM  

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