Monday, October 11, 2004

Of Death and Resurrection

Last week, a friend of mine passed away, but not really. You see, here's what happened. [Debbie] Eh you heard ar? [Me] No. [Debbie] No, seriously, have you heard anything? [Me] I'm hearing your voice right now. What la? [Debbie] Faizal was murdered. Wow. Btw, in case you didn't know, Faizal is the cousin of the most hip and happening dude I know. Unfortunately, Faizal is nowhere near as cool, as always end up being the subject of endless ridicule by literally everyone. The single most persistent rumor circulating his existence is the myth that he shaves his pubes. Not only does he go clean shaven, he uses that same shaver and proceeds to trim his chin and face. He was henceforth known as Flattop, and if you don't get why, stop coming to my blog, you retard. So basically, when I heared that he was murdered, I sorta flipped. OK, it was more like a mini-flip. I mean, who the fcuk would want to kill that man anyway? Sure, he's a shaven haven geek, but that hardly means that anyone would want him killed. I called his cousin on his cell, but he refused to tell me what happened. Holy crap, it's not funny anymore. He insisted on coming over to talk. Fuck me. I was still sitting on my chair when he reached my place. Dammit that was fast. He came in, and this is the sorry ass story which I regretedly found out: Faizal's wallet got pickpocketted a few week's prior to this. Apparently, the robber somehow met to his demise when someone else murdered him, which proceeded to burn his body. When the police found the body, Faizal's wallet was found amongst the charred remains. And where is that retarded fool in the midst of all of this? He was getting some international hokey pokey with his girlfriend across the border. Figures. Can you even imagine how it was at Faizal's residence when the police came knocking down the door early in the morning? [Mom] Apa nih? [Polis] Anak engkau Faizal bin Cukur yea? [Mom] Yeala. Apa hal? [Polis] Anak you dah mati. Kondem. Hangus. Paham? [Mom] Ya allah... In fact, his death was even posted in all its glory in the Utusan Melayu paper. So, despite all he's endured, he just might be the collest one of us all; he's cheated death, and not only has he died, he came back from the dead to tell us about it.


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