Sunday, June 19, 2005

Of Bad Eyes and Titanium Frames

I have disturbing news. My right eye has developed astigmatism to the degree of 225, which basically means that if I close my left eye, everything becomes a blur. Nothing is focused, and while I can certainly make out objects, I won't be able to read from road signs to the newspaper on my lap. That's bad news for me, as I've always prided myself at the fact that I never need optical assistance, and now that masturbation has gotten the better of me, I actually went to an optometrist last night to get my specs done. I swear, how you people decide on what's cool and what's not, I have no idea, because every damn pair looks the same. And why the fuck is it called a pair is beyond me, as the only pair in a specacle are the lens, which is just stupid. Since this is my first time getting spectacles, and seeing as how I'm still relatively in denial, I apologize big time to all the people I've unrelentlessly made fun of back then. I most certainly do not think people who wear specs are geeks, and that they should be weeded out by genetic screening. I know now that no one or nothing is perfect, least of all my goddamn right eye, but I'd opt for a glass eye and a pirate patch any day if given the chance. Debbie, you know I think you look sexy with your glasses on, right? Right?


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