Friday, September 23, 2005

The Smart is rather Stupid

I'd like to tell you all a little story about a bunch of Germans over at DaimlerChrysler. One day, having made a fuckload of cash from selling Mercedes to Datuks and impressionable young millionaires everywhere, they decided to buy up a company which makes Smart cars. Unfortunately, there is nothing smart about it, and apart from having looks like it gives a damn, it's really the most rubbish toy car anyone can ever buy. First off, I have to tell you all about the horrendous transmission. There are manuals, and then there are automatics. Imagine if you will, a clutchless manual. It's essentially a manual, but a little computer handles the clutch balancing for you, so all you have to do it to push a stick and it changes gears for you. Brilliant. Yes, if brilliant means backbone injury and neck spasms. To get a better idea of how it feels like to drive a Smart, you have to imagine driving a manual car with a rugby player sitting behind you. Just when you are about to change gears, the rugby player kick you in the head, and then your brain starts to spill out from your ears. And then it happens over and over again until you reach the sixth and final gear. God forbid should you ever decide to stop on a slope, because this car rolls back the moment the brakes are let go, and it takes a second before the transmission wakes up and transfers power to the wheels. You would've already reversed into the car behind you, by which the dude would've introduced you to his fist, because you're now apparently a dumb ass driver who own a car which looks like a frog. The absolute best part about the transmission is when you're already at cruising speeds. Lets say you're already comfortably at sixth gear. Okay, that won't happen, because you're never comfortable at any speed. Anyway, you slow down to a halt, because you're coming up to a red light. For some unfathomable reason, the gears do not progressively change as you slow down, and the car will jerk and choke to the point where it almost stalls before changing gears. What drunken misguided German over at Smart decided that this is the best fucking way to design a car's transmission? Jesus Christ, you have no idea the number of stares I got while I slowed the car down, because then I'll start jerking like a schizophrenic, and I look like a total and complete fool. I got so intensely fed up with the car, I left it in the car park basement and didn't drive it again until it was time to return it. I have NEVER not taken a review car home. I've even beared with the gigantic Ford Everest, but not the Smart forfour; it's that bad. You're lucky I decided to spare you all the outrageously frustrating details regarding the brakes. BMW, if anyone of you are reading this, I love your cars to death. Give me, a decent tax paying citizen my due rewards and allow me to have a 530d for keeps. Please. Because those other Germans ovbiously have no clue as to what they are doing. Please?
|

24 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Mobile Viruses Now "Cross-Sharing" – As In, Infecting PCs Too
Who is reading your blog anyway? -Start blogging at your favorite magazine's Website and get published in less than three minutes! blog-n-play.com TOP JAVA LINKS YOU MUST CLICK ON SDJ News Desk Mobile Viruses ...
Hi, I liked this post to your blog. I have a blog site that you may be interested in. It is related to online forex training and currency trading. There are a number of people making money trading the forex or mini forex, visit online forex training for some nice tips and articles.

9/23/2005 10:33:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

dear kel,

u must have driven an auto car for too long. You must drive a manual car with clutch for a while, then drive this smart to love this car

9/24/2005 10:30:00 AM  
Blogger PolarTrader said...

Thank you, Lot of Valuable Info on Your Blog. I have a learn forex Site. It pretty much covers ##KEYWORD## related stuff.

Check it out if you get time :-)

10/01/2005 10:47:00 PM  
Blogger Quit Smoking said...

Hi, I was looking around some blogger blogs for some ideas to start my own on ebooks and you have given me some great ideas. Good blog. I will check it out every week. Thanks

10/06/2005 03:29:00 AM  
Blogger Quit Smoking said...

Hi, I was looking around some blogger blogs for some ideas to start my own on ebooks and you have given me some great ideas. Good blog. I will check it out every week. Thanks

10/06/2005 02:19:00 PM  
Blogger WellFancyThat said...

Good job - interesting posts, lots to consider. My own interests concern forex training and perhaps you might have an interest in checking out the subject of forex training. Keep posting and I'll keep reading.

10/12/2005 07:51:00 AM  
Blogger Free Traffic System said...

Hello,

I liked your blog. I found many interesting information here.
I also give free info about egypt forex trader on my
href="http://www.WebTradingSystem.com">Forex Trading System
site.

If you have time please visit my web site to get some free egypt forex trader
information.

Kind regards,
Nick

10/17/2005 07:27:00 AM  
Blogger Johnny said...

Hello, your blog is inmformative, I just found a brand new forex trading system using both Mathematical and psychlogical approch, hope you can visit and it will be useful to your trading life.

10/19/2005 02:26:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I read many rave reviews on the auto manual smart transmission.

How about the 'crawl' function of the gearbox, where the car will move slowly when the brake is deressed and let go? And how about the shiftdown function, florring the accelerator will shift down gears in the smart for four, from your comfortable 6th gear?

Maybe you got a dud car to review for your blog, not being mainstream reviewer.

10/24/2005 04:53:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm always looking for a place where I can learn more about forex, forex trading, forex day trading system and improve my online profit. I will be keeping an eye on your blog as I liked it a lot. Another site I found with forex day trading system resources is forex day trading system

10/24/2005 10:54:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

While reading this I was reminded of volvo dealership you should stop by.

10/26/2005 04:17:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

While reading this I was reminded of carson toyota you should stop by.

10/26/2005 06:56:00 AM  
Blogger . said...

I just came across your blog, and wanted to drop you a note telling you how impressed I was with the information you have posted here. I also have a forex trading system blog, so I know what I'm talking about when I say your site is top-notch! Keep up the great work, you are providing a great resource on the Internet here!

10/27/2005 03:33:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I thought your blog visitors would like to see this matt gagnon currency trading scam website:
matt gagnon currency trading scam

10/27/2005 07:47:00 AM  
Blogger Johnny said...

hello, your blog is interesting to read, I have a currency trading website, it is informative and provides many currency charts and real time currency quote. It should be helpful to your trading.

10/27/2005 06:57:00 PM  
Blogger . said...

I just came across your blog, and wanted to drop you a note telling you how impressed I was with the information you have posted here. I also have a forex guide blog, so I know what I'm talking about when I say your site is top-notch! Keep up the great work, you are providing a great resource on the Internet here!

10/27/2005 08:46:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi,

Just browsing around the net for forex trade signal and came across your blog. I've been trying to add as much info as I can about forex trade signal on my site. But must admit I get a bit confused... there's just some many sites, tips, information ... you name about forex trade signal it's hard to know where to begin!
I'm thinking of adding a forex trade signal on my site, when I do, your all more that welcome to come a leave tips and help...

Until then take care!
Steward.

10/29/2005 04:53:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Informative blog you have here. Here is mine shopping cart cover

10/30/2005 05:45:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

GET PAID TO DRIVE YOUR OWN CAR.... BETTER YET GET A FREE CAR -- GET PAID UP TO £1200 A MONTH
This is no scam. This is a genuine offer for you to earn some good cash for doing nothing but drive a car.
Get Paid To Drive in UK Now

The BIGGEST advertising coup has been taking the United States of America by storm and now it's
available in the United Kingdom! Companies will pay you a monthly fee to display ads on your car!

We offer an introduction to the UK companies that are operating in a fantastic new media, Car Wrapping. You will have seen the promo cars driving around in your area and possibly thought the driver worked for the company.

Get Paid To Drive in UK Now

You were most likely wrong. The driver was driving around in a free car or was being paid. Now you can have access to all the companies in one place.

Get Paid To Drive in UK Now

People all over the World are being paid to drive their cars and now if you live in the UK you can also be paid. By simply driving their car the way they ordinarily would, they are also making up to £1200 per month!

If you are willing to drive your car with a company advertisement on it to your job, the shops, school runs etc., there are companies in the UK looking to pay you to do this - GUARANTEED. This is an ideal way for anyone to earn some additional income!
Companies want to give you money for you to DRIVE your own car. They just add advertisements on your car. That's it!

Get Paid To Drive in UK Now

WHAT'S THE CATCH? There isn't! You can drive as you normally do and get paid for it
Who Qualifies...

You must be 18 years of age or older, possess a valid drivers license and fill out the required application for each programme you wish to join.
You must be a citizen or permanent resident of one of the The United Kingdom.
Get Paid To Drive in UK Now

Your driving record, driving habit, location etc will be taken into consideration by the advertiser during the selection process. Most companies require a minimum monthly driving mileage and a clean driving record (at least no driving offences within the past 12 months). PaidtoDrive.co.uk does not pay you to advertise and cannot guarantee your acceptance into any programmed you sign up for. We can, however, guarantee the legitimacy of these programs and the application process.
Get Paid To Drive in UK Now

In the event you have been convicted of a driving offence, driving under the influence of drugs/alcohol, or had more than two serious motor accidents in the last two years, we cannot guarantee that your application will be accepted and strongly urge you not to continue any further.

Please visit our frequently asked questions section if you have further questions. Alternatively you can email me at sales@paidtodrive.co.uk
Yours Faithfully,
www.PaidtoDrive.co.uk
Team

Get Paid To Drive in UK Now

10/30/2005 07:53:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

GET PAID TO DRIVE YOUR OWN CAR.... BETTER YET GET A FREE CAR -- GET PAID UP TO £1200 A MONTH
This is no scam. This is a genuine offer for you to earn some good cash for doing nothing but drive a car.
Get Paid To Drive in UK Now

The BIGGEST advertising coup has been taking the United States of America by storm and now it's
available in the United Kingdom! Companies will pay you a monthly fee to display ads on your car!

We offer an introduction to the UK companies that are operating in a fantastic new media, Car Wrapping. You will have seen the promo cars driving around in your area and possibly thought the driver worked for the company.

Get Paid To Drive in UK Now

You were most likely wrong. The driver was driving around in a free car or was being paid. Now you can have access to all the companies in one place.

Get Paid To Drive in UK Now

People all over the World are being paid to drive their cars and now if you live in the UK you can also be paid. By simply driving their car the way they ordinarily would, they are also making up to £1200 per month!

If you are willing to drive your car with a company advertisement on it to your job, the shops, school runs etc., there are companies in the UK looking to pay you to do this - GUARANTEED. This is an ideal way for anyone to earn some additional income!
Companies want to give you money for you to DRIVE your own car. They just add advertisements on your car. That's it!

Get Paid To Drive in UK Now

WHAT'S THE CATCH? There isn't! You can drive as you normally do and get paid for it
Who Qualifies...

You must be 18 years of age or older, possess a valid drivers license and fill out the required application for each programme you wish to join.
You must be a citizen or permanent resident of one of the The United Kingdom.
Get Paid To Drive in UK Now

Your driving record, driving habit, location etc will be taken into consideration by the advertiser during the selection process. Most companies require a minimum monthly driving mileage and a clean driving record (at least no driving offences within the past 12 months). PaidtoDrive.co.uk does not pay you to advertise and cannot guarantee your acceptance into any programmed you sign up for. We can, however, guarantee the legitimacy of these programs and the application process.
Get Paid To Drive in UK Now

In the event you have been convicted of a driving offence, driving under the influence of drugs/alcohol, or had more than two serious motor accidents in the last two years, we cannot guarantee that your application will be accepted and strongly urge you not to continue any further.

Please visit our frequently asked questions section if you have further questions. Alternatively you can email me at sales@paidtodrive.co.uk
Yours Faithfully,
www.PaidtoDrive.co.uk
Team

Get Paid To Drive in UK Now

10/30/2005 08:17:00 PM  
Blogger HFUNDATION said...

I with no reasonable doubt say that the info you provided above was right to the point as we all know it forex news can be very challenging and thus we should applaus to those that put in wore to provide us with all needed ideals and infomation. My self i`m very thankfull. You can get more ideals and info from my website forex news

10/31/2005 10:59:00 AM  
Blogger doer said...

Hey, you have a great blog here! I'm definitely going to bookmark you!
I have a forex system site. It pretty much covers Forex related stuff.

11/01/2005 05:04:00 AM  
Anonymous day trade future said...

Hey Kel. Nice blog. Check out my site daytrading system. It's got lots of info on daytrading system.

11/14/2005 09:47:00 PM  
Anonymous stock options said...

Nice blog, Kel. There's an interesting site about day trading at day trading.

11/22/2005 11:39:00 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home