Sunday, October 09, 2005

Departure Gate K

This coming Friday, I will embark for Sarawak, where the dozen or so faithful to our grandfather will visit him for what is possibly the last time. He is nearing the end of his time, and as a sign of filial piety, we've all set aside time to visit him as an unofficial sending off of sorts. I never really knew my grandfather. Sure, I see him every year, but the fact that I adamantly refuse to pick up the Foochow dialect means that there is hardly an ounce of communication going on between us. I remember when he would pick me up when I was younger and rub his semi-shaven stubble of a chin on my cheeks, annoying the living crap out of me. He would always be the one to bust my chops, and me being myself, I would always find ways to tick him off further. I think I was a borderline masochist at that point in my life, doing things which I clearly know will get me into trouble, and staying there in order to be caught red-handed. I've heared stories about how my grandad disciplined his sons, which invariably involved a large bucket of water and the forceful choking of an unlucky son into the body of water in an attempt to choke the life out of the said victim. Mind you, this is a man who's weathered the Japanese occupation, and whenever he rides into town on his bike, the local townsfolk acknowledge his presense. That was then. Now, he's a broken shell of a man. My mother described him as being so thin and frail, it looked like he could snap his bones in two just by standing up. I'm not a big fan of death. I've never been to any funerals simply because no-one I cared about has died. I still wonder if religion is my ultimate vice, and when the day comes when I know I will die soon, I will wonder if God is truly amongst us, and if there really is such a thing as heaven. I'd like to think my grandad is going to heaven, but truth is, I just want to know if I ought to believe in something, anything. At least, just to make the passing of my grandad easier. If my grandad doesn't live until Chinese New Year next year, then this will be the second grandparent I've lost this year. I know my grandmother loves my grandad dearly. If he goes, so will she. Such is the bond of a lifetime of companionship.
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1 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Good write up saab 900 s

10/23/2005 11:09:00 PM  

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