Wednesday, November 16, 2005

A Short Story on A Mini pwnage

There are these mutant mosquitoes in my room, I swear. These fuckers just refuse to die. I took a can of Shieldtox, closed the windows, and sprayed for a good 10 seconds before adjourning downstairs for a smoke. 10 minutes later, I went back to my room and saw the fucker still flying around. WTF. First, mutant blogs, now mutant blood suckers. So as I sit here breathing in Shieldtox, I can't resist but to take another look at Singaporean blogs again, because they are frankly, rather entertaining. Hold up, did I say Singaporean blogs are interesting? I need to bring your attention to something I've stumbled onto recently, which is none other than the mental diarrhoe that is the Minishorts flame war. Why people call it a flame war annoys me to to end, because a war isn't a war until a country's leader is assasinated or if you happen to live in a country which starts with the word 'I' and ends with 'raq'. Anyways, after taking a 'holy-crap' long time in reading all of the flames going to and fro Claire and Co., I came to the realization that I, among hundreds of others, were conned like Himalayan mules. Yes, stupid me went along into thinking that this shit was real, and like all others, suffered a brain seizure when we realized that none of this crap was real. She and 3 others pulled off what I can only summarize as the greatest Hindi blogging drama I've read yet. We really do fucking kick ass, which is more than what I can say for the people down South. Well, maybe not me, I certainly don't kick ass, seeing as how I am the unwitting fool in this grand trickery of a flame war. Dammit, I said it again. I recently got an e-mail from someone attempting to get me to review their spanking new Karaoke machine. That was still midly humorous up to the point when he introduced the name of the machine. Get ready for it, it's called the: Kanaohyeah. If that isn't even remotely hilarious to you, kindly walk off the end of a short pier. I don't need a person with humour-deficiencies going tru my blog.
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Tuesday, November 15, 2005

Bloggites isn't a proper word, dammit

I'm so completely in awe over the current obsessive explosion of female bloggers, particularly that of from Singapore. A quick browse through http://www.hottestblogger.com is enough to make a man's testicles wither. Is Singapore so boring that the most recent fad is to maintain a blog with copious amount of irrelevant pictures? The recent blogging flame wars are also completely irrelevant, if not only to serve as a humorous after thought on a lazy afternoon. Wendy, despite your best efforts, always manage to be your own worst enemy and fail to see the thin line that divides tact and journalism. I mention you, and only you, because you are quite literally an Asian blogging phenomenon, and you've failed to capitalize on your audience reach. Of course, that's just what I think, and seeing as I don't know much of anything anyway, you'd best ignore this anyway. I have also come to the realization that the Singaporean female gene pool is exceedingly small, because all the bloggers I've read about in the past hour or so look practically alike. Apparently, having background music in which you can't turn off is in nowadays, and if you want to be even remotely cool, you have to feature pictures of high heel shoes and use a pink background. I have actually compiled a list, but i'm too lazy to post it up, mainly because I think I'm loosing the plot of my entry, and I think this is a boring entry to begin with. As such, I'm not even arsed to end this entry decently. An Audi A4 quattro awaits my masochistic loving.
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Monday, November 07, 2005

Have A Nice 'Fuck You' Day

You stupid little shit. I am very aware that you need to have the things sent out. I am also aware that the post office deadline is close. How bout you sit the fuck down whilst I run things by you in what is possibly another long string of frustrations I always seem to run into when dealing with you. First off, I'm doing you a favour. What kind of sorry ass weak shit excuse is it for me to send the mags instead of having one of the girls, or any other person for that matter, to send it? Just coz they're girls? Somebody call the motherfucking feminist brigade, I think we got ourselves a winner here. I'll just park my car in Klang next time round then, how about that? Just because I'm generally nice and the fact that I drive doesn't give you the right to be rude, you inconsiderate little shit. Lets get this straight, I owe you nothing. The only reason I seem to bend is because I don't to see you reduce yourself into your miserable puddle of self pity, and so I do what any nice person would and oblige in your half-hearted requests. And who the fuck picks up half your calls anyway whenever you're off picking your nose feces or getting an epidural in the toilet? Thanks to your display of character and lack of respect, I will no longer pretend to be nice to you. Ever. I may not be your boss, but bite again, and I'll motherfucking pull your head off. It and whatever little stuffings of gray matter it contains. Fucking idiot, you can't even distinguish the difference between L and R.
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