Sunday, December 25, 2005

...Discontented...

Truth is, I have no idea why I am here. This could be fun... I am depressed. It is Christmas Eve. Where the hell am I? In front of the freakin' computer, chatting and grumbling to Kel...(I do feel guilty about it and I apologise) Gyahhh....I haven't been in a good mood for the whole week. I was quite easily irritable. Stressed out to the point that I actually considered taking up smoking again...I've always wondered whether it really helped to ease my mind...can't really remember now. There are instances when a certain someone is incredibly stressed, the first thing he'd do is to reach for his bloody ciggies. So much for promising to cut back on smoking and eventually quit... I am certain that I am not stressed out from work. So why the hell am I feeling so bl00dy pathetic...Ugh! Maybe it's because I have been arguing with that certain s0me0ne every single night for the past few days. I hate it when people cannot solve their own problems, they take it out on you...Ugh...especially when it has absofuckinglutely (will have to thank SATC for this wonderful word...blehh) nothing to do with me... Come to think of it, I should have just taken up my aunt's offer to go back to Muar. Mum sorta expected me to go home since it's a long weekend. What more a Christmas weekend. Not that I actually celebrate Christmas... Staying in the room is SAD. Not havng s0meone to talk to makes it even worse. I feel like crying all of a sudden.I think I really really miss my parents and sisters. Something is definitely wrong with me...Damn...It pisses me off not knowing why I feel this way. I do not usually miss my parents nor my sisters THIS much. And I just saw them like...2 freakin' weeks ago. WTF! Hmm...I am itching to watch movies. Have been trying to book tickets but of course, it's always fully booked. Then again, I didn't really have the time to go watch them at the cinema.I do hope they wouldn't be that packed when the school holidays end. Do I actually have money to go watch at the cinemas?...Gawd...I don't know =( Kel, I have failed you terribly. This is the best I can do...LoL...Yes, I deserve to be spanked...sighie I shall now go back and indulge your oh-so-lovely Sex and the City collection...

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Monday, December 12, 2005

The Accident Which Proved That I'm A Dumbass

I can't be expected to retell this same story over and over again to hundred of people, so therefore, I will blog about it. Yes, in all my life, I've never had the displeasure of saying that I've actually been in an accident. Yesterday, that all changed, thanks to a moron named Romdan in a Mazda van. I was slowing down towards the Batu Tiga toll plaza, when I noticed this dude in a van in front of me realizing that he was in the wrong lane. He initially cut into my lane, then pulled back in, so stupid me thinking that he saw me, went on along on my merry way. He then did the obvious, he swerved out just when I was going by him and rammed right into my rear right door. As you can tell, this is just stupid. But what's even more stupid is the conversation which ensued. Me: Are you blind? You cut across three lanes just so you'd hit me? Him: Aiyoh sorry la abang, tak nampak la. At this point I had to start speaking Bahasa Malaysia, which I absolutely detest. Me: You couldn't see? What's this for? *points at side mirrors* Him: Aiyoh sorry man...I'm just sorry. Me: Sorry? Wait, I need my ciggarette. Me: Okay, this is real simple. Even a blind policeman can tell this was your fault. So you either give me 500 bucks now, or I go straight to the police. Him: Aiyoh do need involve the police all la. Me: Gimme your wallet. *Opens his wallet to find 6 Ringgit. Yes, that's right, SIX. He doesn't even have an ATM card* Me: This is all you got? Six bucks?! Him: Aiyoh sorry man I was just bringing my kids for a joyride. Me: This is stupid. How are you going to give me the money? Him: Wait let me call my brother. Me: Does he have the money? Him: I got money wan, I just don't have it now. Me: Yeah sure you do. This is what you're gonna do. Follow me back to the police station. We'll wait for your brother there. If he doesn't show up in one hour, I'm walking in. Him: Aiyoh why la u have to be like this, no need la talk about police all. Me: You hit my car. And tomorrow's a holiday. *I take out his identification card* Me: Romdan bin Junis? Him: Call me Hashim. Me: So what's your name now, Rondam or Hashim? Him: Hashim. Me: Is this even your own I/C? Him: Yes. Me: So why the hell should I call you Hashim? Him: Aiyoh because everyone does la. Me: Trust me, the police will call you Romdan, not Hashim. Remember that. Him: Aiyoh I call my brother first la. Pity me la man, see my kids scared. I am not trying to cheat you wan. I will pay you. And for some stupid, incomprehensible reason, I believed him. I know, i'm a freaking gigantic moron, but I did. I actually believed that poor son of a bitch and said that he can get the money and meet up with me later on in the evening. OMG I still can't believe what a dumbass I was. Really, don't bother asking me, because if I could put a foot up my ass, I would. Naturally, he didn't show. Later on I called his mobile (which I made sure was his by making sure his phone rang in front of me). Me: Hello, Rondam? Girl: Who? Me: Who's this? Girl: Who are you looking for? Me: ... Me: Hashim. Girl: Hashim's not here. Me: Are you his daughter who was in the van earlier? Girl: Hashim's not here. Me: You tell your father or whoever he is that if he doesnt call me back about the money, he better start running, because I'm going to go to your house. Girl: Hashim's not here. GAHHHHHH. So anyway, he never picked up any of my subsequent calls. So naturally, I head on over to the police station to make a report. Here's a kicker, I reported that he was driving without a license, and that he ran out on me, hit-and-run style. Oh the joy. The coppers took pictures of my car, which is the norm, but this is the best part: I was driving around with an expired road tax. OH GOD THE BALLS. So listen, that's my story. Here's the lowdown. I will hunt this fucker's ass down. I have all the required details I need from him. I will bloody well make sure he gets an early visit from Santa this year. Those who want in, let me know. I plan to go in force.
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Sunday, December 11, 2005

Very Gay Days

I read whiterabbit's blog regarding her weird habits with much amusement, so much so, the people who are living in the house behind mine actually pulled their curtains aside just to see where the hysterical snorting is coming from. Since I am phenomenally gifted at being weird/annoying, I might as well come up with a list myself. 1. I like to lift up my feet and curl them up in incomprehensible knots when I'm alone in my room. It looks so hideously impossible, you'd swear I was demonically possessed. 2. I ask people for their opinions, when really, I don't care, because I go ahead with what I originally intended to do in the first place. This is why my father probably never forgave me for ditching E & E Engineering halfway during college. Not that I was any good at Math to begin with. 3. I am hugely absent-minded, that if my designer wasn't such a dear and pointed out certain things to me, I'd be that man who didn't change certain page numberings in T3. 4. I smoke more than what my body demands. I'm not quite sure why I am over-supplying my lungs with tar, but I think it's because of the fact that I can't stand boredom and smoke just to occupy myself with something. 5. I keep a large collection of things I don't actually need, from un-used ciggarette boxes to key chains. I think I have an unopened condom packet somewhere that's 6 years past its expiration date. That's right, condoms have expiration dates. 6. I loop a new song over and over again to the point my boss will tell me to turn it off, because I've absolutely killed it. This goes back to point No. 5 really, because then I never listen to it ever again. 7. I am a huge proponent of love, but I am so convinced that love will find me and not the other way around, I may just end up turning gay. This may mean good news for RainbowGayDave, because if I ever was gay, he'd probably be the one I'd go to. OMG did I just type that? Ah fuck it. I have countless more, but I'm sure my readers couldn't care less, and I frankly can't be bothered to type anymore. And no Rufie, I will not succumb and photo whore or blog about every little thing that happens in my life. I will not apologize for saying this, for the majority of blogs now are just popularity contests, and I'll be damn if I ever join in the race to prove who's nuts are bigger or if I'm cute enough to make it to bloggerswithnothingbettertodo.com. So guess what I did last night then? Don't give a rat's ass? I thought so. If you actually went on to see if there's actually a site called bloggerswithnothingbettertodo.com, kindly go ahead and shove a taser up your nose.
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Saturday, December 03, 2005

Too much exposure to ah bengs and ah liens can contribute to migraines

Hi all. Kelvin's been bugging me for a few weeks now to blog. And to cut a long story short, I promised him a LONG blog. I hear that blogging is supposed to be like writing in a private journal, except… it’s not exactly private. Since I don’t really have much to bitch about my daily adventures with mosquitoes Kelvin-style, this is the best I can do for now… so without further ado, here we go: A few weeks ago, I decided to go for a Jay Chou autograph session in 1U. Because I’m such a nice person, I shall now tell you all about what you missed: 3 pm: Arrived in 1 U all nicely dressed up with my brand new 3 inch gorgeous white high heels to boot. Gawked at the incredibly longggg line. Queued up with another friend like good ol' law-abiding citizens. While in line, the organizers start playing songs from Jay's new album. And naturally, everyone there just had to start screaming. I braced myself for a LONG evening ahead. 3.30 pm: Striked up a conversation with some people lining up behind and ahead of me. One particular girl of interest, which I shall name "Jay Chou nut-case fan" or JCNCF for short was trying to get people to join her Jay Chou fan club and had Jay's name literally tattooed all over her. After repeatedly turning her down, I started getting a little thirsty so I left the line to grab a nice cup of caramel frappucino. Mmmmm. 3.50 pm: Came back to find that the line had nearly tripled in length. After much snaking through the crowd with numerous "excuse me"s and "my friend is in front"s (not to mention rude stares from strangers), I finally managed to get back to my original spot in the queue. I noticed, with interest, that there had been a few new 'additions' (by additions i mean people who linger around in an attempt to cut our line) gathering around my spot in the queue. I (naively) thought that they would eventually get the message and queue up like the rest. 4.20 pm: One of the 'additions', which I shall refer to as stupid and smelly Ah lien in horrendous green with pink polka dots skirt, super frizzy hair and....ok ok fine fine, we'll just call her “Ah Lien exhibit A” for short, decided upon the monumental decision of cutting MY line. Irritated, I tapped on her shoulder only to get an annoyed stare from her (the nerve.). I tried my best to explain to her that there was only ONE line, and well, she was NOT in that line. (note: this was all in SIMPLE ENGLISH) And what did Ah Lien exhibit A do? NOTHING. Well, ok to be exact, she stared at me blankly and turned her back against me. Of course, I imagine that if I were a cartoon character, by this time smoke would have started seeping out of my ears and I was about to start breathing fire. I tapped on her shoulder again and asked if she understood simple English. And what was her answer? "No. I no speaking English. " FUCKING HELL. What do they teach in schools these days?? 4.25 pm: JCNCF tapped my back and said out loud "Some people are like that wan. Very stubborn wan...then some more they also enjoy playing stupid." Naturally, I couldn't resist. "Are you sure they are just playing stupid?" Honestly, even if you do not understand simple English, surely you understand basic courtesy? Bloody retarded frizzy hair Ah lien in green polka whatever... *aarrrghhhhhhhhhhhhh* 4.30 pm: Managed to come to an agreement with the people around me (who were queuing up like most DECENT people) to push Ah Lien exhibit A out of the way once the line moved slightly forward. Bear in mind, that all of this was going on whilst retarded Ah Lien was within hearing distance. Oh yes, and I would love to add that my shoes were starting to kill me. 4.45 pm: Everyone started pushing because the line started moving a little. Damn these people la seriously. I mean, what’s the big deal? Do you really think that if you manage to push all the way to the front, Jay Chou is going to get down on one knee and ask for your hand in marriage because he’s just oh-so-amazed at your unruly ways? And so in the midst of all the pushing and loud cursing (fine, I had my share of cursing too.. but people were STEPPING ON MY NEW WHITE SANDALS!!!!*&^%$#@!!!!!) , lo and behold, Ah Lien exhibit A decided to cut WAY ahead of us. Of course I would love to tell you all that I waved my index finger in front of that bitch's face and gave her a little “NO. NOT GOING TO HAPPEN” action. Sadly this was not to happen. *sob*. 4.55 pm: I helplessly watched the damn Ah Lien sprint to the front as I struggled to get a place in the line. If only you had any idea just how much I was wishing that she would trip and…. (err, I shall leave this all for later. First impressions are important. I AM A NICE GIRL. Most of the times anyway) 5.15 pm: Mother Nature decided to smear my mascara with some rain. Great. Just great. First, everyone ruins my brand new white sandals. Then, green polka dotted monster gets to cut the line. And to top it off, I will now be meeting Jay Chou with some scary shit eyes. T.T 5.30 pm: (To be continued) I would love to continue about my eventful night but then I would not have anything else to write about the next time Kelvin asks me to blog again =D Also, I think I’ve bored you all enough. So that's it for now! *wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee*
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Friday, December 02, 2005

I've got your nuclear weapons right here buddy

I'm increasingly under the impression that my friend is in fact a terrorist. He always seem to pretend to be busy when I'm trying to find out what he's up to, and when he does chat, all he talks about is how upset he is with the world. You know a man is a closet terrorist when he tells you one day over MSN one day that explosives can be made from simple household items. Of course, what's even more worrying is that he's convinced that extremist Islam fundamentalists do have a point, and that in order to make a statement, you'd have to go out with a bang. This is coming from a man who can't remember what he ate four hours earlier, and the only sex he has ever had was with his right hand. This is also the same man who recommended The Super Terrorist Brothers to me, and thought that the man who made fun of these genuises of extremitism ought to be shot. I told him that he needs a shot of Xanax, but then he just got pissed off. Okay, that's it, my rubbish post for today. The thought of this nice young man harboring thoughts of terrorism just depresses me.
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